《穆勒自传》（约翰·穆勒）
老师在课堂上简要地提到穆勒精神崩溃的事情。当看到穆勒读到一本回忆录流泪的时候，我就突然被感动到了，好像能体会和理解到他的感受。
But the time came when I awakened from this as from a dream. It was in the autumn of 1826. I was in a dull state of nerves, such as everybody is occasionally liable to; insusceptible to enjoyment or pleasurable excitement; one of those moods when what is pleasure at other times, becomes insipid or indifferent; the state, I should think, in which converts to Methodism usually are, when smitten by their first“conviction of sin.” In this frame of mind it occurred to me to put the question directly to myself:” Suppose that all your objects in life were realized; that all the changes in institutions and opinions which you are looking forward to, could be completely effected at this very instant: would this be a great joy and happiness to you?” and an irrepressible self-consciousness distinctly answered,” No!” At this my heart sank within me: the whole foundation on which my life was constructed fell down. All my happiness was to have been found in the continual pursuit of this end. The end had ceased to charm, and how could there ever again be any interest in the means? I seemed to have nothing left to live for.
但是到1826年秋天，那样的时刻终于来到，我犹如从梦中醒来。我处于神经麻木状态，有如人人偶尔会碰到的那种情况，对娱乐和快乐的刺激不感兴趣；我的内心觉得，往日快乐的事情现在变为枯燥乏味或与我漠不相关：我想到，只有改信卫理公会的人被第一次“深信有罪”所折磨时，才经常产生和我现在一般的心境。在此种心情下我不禁白问：“假如生活中的所有目标完全实现，假如你所想望的全部制度和思想的改变就在这个时候完全实现，你会觉得非常快乐和幸福吗?一种不可遏制的自我意识明确地回答“不！”。至此，我的心下沉，我生活所寄托的整个基础崩溃。我全部幸福原是对这个目标的不断追求，现在这个目标已失去吸引人的力量，追求目标的手段还有什么意义可言呢？生活对我似乎是一片空虚。
When, however, not more than half that duration of time had elapsed, a small ray of light broke in upon my gloom. I was reading, accidentally, Marmontel’s Mémoires, and came to thepassage which relates his father’s death, the distressed position of the family, and the sudden inspiration by which he, then a mere boy, felt and made them feel that he would be everything to them—would supply the place of all that they had lost. A vivid conception of the scene and its feelings came overme, and I was moved to tears. From this moment my burden grew lighter. The oppression of the thought that all feeling was dead within me was gone. I was no longer hopeless: I was not a stock or a stone. I had still, it seemed, some of the material out of which all worth of character, and all capacity for happiness, are made. Relieved from my ever present sense of irremediable wretchedness, I gradually found that the ordinary incidents of life could again give me some pleasure; that I could again find enjoyment, not intense, but sufficient for cheerfulness, in sunshine and sky, in books, in conversation, in public affairs; and that there was, once more, excitement, though of a moderate kind, in exerting myself for my opinions, and for the public good. Thus the cloud gradually drew off, and I again enjoyed life: and though I had several relapses, some of which lasted many months, I never again was as miserable as I had been.
我偶然阅读马蒙特尔的《回忆录》，读到他父亲去世那一节，讲到他一家人忧伤的处境，当时还是一个孩子的马蒙特尔突然意识到，并使家里人都觉得，他将是一家人唯一的依靠，他将填补他们失去的一切。书中描写的生动的场景和挚情深深感动了我，我的眼泪禁不住夺眶而出。从这一刹那起我的思想负担有所减轻，那种自以为所有感情已经死去的思想上的压迫感消失了。我不再绝望，不再是一块木头或石头。看起来，我还是具有某种东西，通过它会产生全部有价值的品性和取得全部幸福的能力。时刻缠绕在心头的无法治愈的沮丧情绪去掉了，逐渐发觉寻常的生活小事又能给我带来一些愉快，又能从阳光和蓝天，从书本、谈话和公务中享受到并不剧烈但又充分的欢乐，在为我的见解为公众的利益发挥我的力量中再次感到某种程度的激动。就这样，阴霾逐渐消散，我重新享受到生活的乐趣。虽然还有几次旧病复发，有几次还持续好几个月，但是我不再像以前那样感到不幸。